Brilliant Movie Concepts Overlooked By Hollywood

A friend of mine is an aspiring writer for movies and television. He made the mistake of telling me that "Hollywood's greatest pitch-man" solicits movie pitches from the public.

So, largely to poke fun at the whole process, here are the pitches I have sent over the past few years.

Sadly, not only has Hollywood not turned any of these into movies or television shows, I haven't even received any encouragement!

That, of course, has not stopped my continuing submissions.

Categories and Titles

I could swear that I've seen this movie before....
THE ISLAND	THE GILIAD	SUMMER OF 1492
SUMMER OF 1152	ALIEN: PRE-MEDIEVAL	APOCALYPSE THEN
TAFT	TAFT'S BIG SCORE	TAFT IN AFRICA
TORI! TORI! TORI!	TORY! TORY! TORY!	TORAH! TORAH! TORAH!
DORA! DORA! DORA!	EEYORE! EEYORE! EEYORA!	THE 30-PACK OF PABST BLUE RIBBON
THE WEST SIDE OF OLDE VERONA	DELHIVERANCE
Unholy Unions
BATTLESTAR POTEMKIN	ONE SCORE AND FOUR	XXIV
CLEOPATRA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE	FLASHDANCES WITH WOLVES	SNOW WHITE AND THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN DWARVES
TREASURE ISLAND OF DOCTOR MOREAU	THE ISLAND OF DOCTOR ZHIVAGO	KRAMER VS PREDATOR
1776: A SPACE ODYSSEY	THE MALTESE FALCON AND THE SNOWMAN	ANNE OF SOYLENT GREEN GABLES
THE GOLDEN SHOWGIRLS	THE SCORPION KING AND I	GONE WITH THE WIND IN THE WILLOWS
BRIAN'S SONG OF THE SOUTH	SPIKE LEE'S JUNGLE BOOK FEVER	THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY, QUEEN OF SCOTS
JOHN CARPENTER'S FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO THE FORUM	THE INCREDIBLE GATSBY	90,210 B.C.
ESCAPE FROM THE SEX IN THE CITY	C.S.I. Lewis	CSI: SG1
CSI: HOOTERVILLE	RIKI-KON-TIKI-TAVI	TO BE AND BE NOT
THE MYSTERY GANG	28 DAYS, 27 DRESSES	YETIL
STAR TREK N: THE CASE OF ENSIGN CHARLES DEXTER WARD	AL-DAOUQ OF HAZZARKIS	MASSACHUSETTS BAY COLONY WATCH
HUDSON BAY WATCH
The Love Child of Robert Ludlum and Jane Austen's Mother
JANE AUSTEN: TERMINATION WITH PRIDE AND EXTREME PREJUDICE	JANE AUSTEN: PRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN	JANE AUSTEN: JANE MANSFIELD PARK
JANE AUSTEN: THE AUSTEN IDENTITY	JANE AUSTEN: PRIDE AND PREDATOR	SHERLOCK'S LADIES
JANE AUSTEN: THE BIOMECHANICAL WOMAN	JANE AUSTEN: EMMA ANIME	LA FEMME GEENITA
The Henry Franchise
HENRY VI: BEYOND THUNDERDOME	XXIV: HENRY II	HENRY blank blank VII
HENRY III: FULL METAL HENRY	HENRY: THE MILL NETWORK	HENRY CCC
HENRY IV: A NEW HOPE HENRY V: THE HOLY ROMAN EMPIRE STRIKES BACK HENRY VI: RETURN OF THE KING HENRY I: THE FRENCH MENACE HENRY II: ATTACK OF THE FRENCH HENRY III: THE REVENGE OF THE BARD	HENRY I: THE MOTION PICTURE HENRY II: THE WRATH OF THE AGA KHAN HENRY III: THE SEARCH FOR FALSTAFF HENRY IV: THE VOYAGE HOME	HENRY HENRIES HENRYIII
HENRY MMMLXXVII: THE KING'S OWN BARBER-SURGEON UNIT	FALSTAFF'S HEROES	WHERE ENGLISH DARE
HENRY'S TEAM	HENRY: VENETIAN-AEGEAN LOVERS	HENRY: ESCAPE FROM LONDON
HENRY: ESCAPE FROM LONDON	HENRYBLANCA
The HICK SCHOOL Cycle
HICK SCHOOL	MAN, I FEEL LIKE A WOMAN	DARTH BROOKS
What If Robert Ludlum Had Written Everything?
ROBERT LUDLUM'S "THE ELSINORE EQUIVOCATION"	ROBERT LUDLUM'S "THE FELINE VISITATION"	ROBERT LUDLUM'S "THE SUBCONTINENTAL MATURATION"
ROBERT LUDLUM'S "THE BECKET NAVIGATION"	ROBERT LUDLUM'S "THE ARCHIPELAGAN ISOLATION"	ROBERT LUDLUM'S "THE SCANDINAVIAN ANNIHILATION"
ROBERT LUDLUM'S "THE MISSISSIPPI FLOATATION"	ROBERT LUDLUM'S "THE BIMETROPOLITAN NARRATION"	ROBERT LUDLUM'S "THE YULETIDE HARMONIZATION"
ROBERT LUDLUM'S "THE DECIMAL CODIFICATION"	ROBERT LUDLUM'S "THE MOROCCAN RENUNCIATION"	ROBERT LUDLUM'S "THE CAPACIOUS HIBERNATION"
ROBERT LUDLUM'S "THE LETHAL DOCUMENTATION"	ROBERT LUDLUM'S "THE TEXAN ALTERCATION"
Puns are the Lowest Form of Humor
SECTS IN THE CITY	MA AND PA KETEL ONE	MACK O'VALLEY
YOUTH IN ASIA	A REPTILE DYSFUNCTION
Given What's Already On TV, Is This Really Worse?
HANSEN'S DISEASE	NAPOLEON, P.I.	STAHGATE ATLANTA
THE CONSOLIDATED RUBBER COMPANY'S HANDBOOK OF CHEMISTRY AND PHYSICS	FUNK AND WAGNALL'S DICTIONARY	GRAY ANATOMY AND ADVANCED TECHNOLOGY
THE LEAGUE OF RIGHTEOUS GENTLEMEN	THE AX FILES	THE L.P.
THE LAW OF THE RING
Improving the News
THE JENNY MCCARTHY HEARINGS	CHEECH AND CHUNG
"Reality" Shows, Where the Bar is Already Set Very Low Indeed
FLENSING WITH THE STARS	THE PITCH	SERVING SHATNER
LAWN ORDER	POPE MY RIDE	AMERICAN BUGGY
AMERICAN TRAILER	WHO WILL BE THE MAN CALLED HORSE	SHAMAN ON YOU
THE ZZ TOP REALITY HOUSE	SOLOMON'S COURT	AMERICAN IDOLATOR
PARTY LIKE A SHEEN	THE NEXT MORTON SALT GIRL
Be Careful What You Ask For
FACING THE MUSIC	SHAKE-N-BAKE: THE MOVIE	PEARLS BEFORE SWINE
Unclassified and Probably Unclassifiable
PEGLEG BALLERINA	CROUCHING DRAGON, FOLDING CHAIR	BENJAMIN FRANKLINSTEIN
NIGHT OF THE LIVING GIPPER	MEL GIBSON'S "THE ROAD TO ATHENS"	MEL GIBSON'S "THE CRETAN"
WORLD CHAMPIONS	CARDIOLOGIST OF DARKNESS	THE TRANSPORTER 7: TRANSPORTING MISS DAISY
THE CHRONICLES OF BARNIA	THE CHRONICLES OF HERNIA	POPE FICTION
THE IN-LAW JOSIE WALES	ENRON HUBBARD	SUDOKU: THE MOVIE
TURNING JAPANESE	THE ONCE AND FUTURE KING	THE HAMMER OF THOR
FIRST DAUGHTER, THIRD BASE	PRESIDENTIAL BATTLES	BRUTHAS
SERVE THE PEOPLE	SEVEN BRIDES FOR EVERY BROTHER	THAT'S ADVERTAINMENT
Variations Upon a Theme
THAT 1870s SHOW	THAT 1770s SHOW	THAT 1470s SHOW
THAT 1070s SHOW	THAT 70s C.E. SHOW
Variations Upon Another Theme
LEAVE IT TO ELDRIDGE CLEAVER	LEAVE IT TO HECTOR	NOT HIS BROTHER'S KEEPER
Variations Upon A Different Theme
HIKARU SULU'S BROKEBACK PLANET	BRIDEGROOM OF FRANKENSTEIN
*And Another* Theme**
ALIEN 1492	ILLEGAL ALIEN

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